I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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