porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
