i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
