i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
