I murdered the dance floor call the cops
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
