I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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