He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
