those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
