wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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