y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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