Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
