The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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