omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
