I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's official drugs can't kill me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
