Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
