you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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