i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
