Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
