sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
