can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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