Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
