He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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