Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize