you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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