Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize