she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize