I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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