Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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