Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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