I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
