i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your cock deserves a montage
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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