we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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