Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize