Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
