Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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