there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
