i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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