he puts the penis in happiness.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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