i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
