your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
