How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
