sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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