I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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