i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so let's talk penis.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
ok first of all what the fuck
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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