Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize