Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
