the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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