You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize