Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
