I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
