If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
