Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize