He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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