He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
