One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
