I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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