At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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