it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
