yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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