just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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