the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
