Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You've changed since you got that strap on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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