I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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