No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
