you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
