somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
