I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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