all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
